I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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