what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
