I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
