at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
