we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
