i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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