I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
