Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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