It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize