I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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