Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
