its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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