Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
