As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
