did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
