Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
