He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
