Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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