I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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