hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
