My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
