You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
