yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
