really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
