somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
