no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize