i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
