Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
