i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
