I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you had me at cake vodka
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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