and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize