I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
