so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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