so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
