I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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