I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
