i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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