im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
