So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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