Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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