I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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