if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
