I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
