So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
