everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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