Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
