when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wear drunk well.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize