Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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