You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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