I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
