Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
