Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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