dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
