I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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