If you die in college, do you die in real life?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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