I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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