her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
