bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
