I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
